tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post150302004247656221..comments2023-11-29T20:27:45.975-08:00Comments on The Sex Addiction Blog: Gaslighting and RealityDr. Michael Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01508827542125858804noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-64672032787342016962015-05-28T10:25:37.543-07:002015-05-28T10:25:37.543-07:00Thank you for a great article.
When you know the a...Thank you for a great article.<br />When you know the average age an American kid first sees pornography online is 11, it's beyond frightening.<br />I produced and finished early this year a documentary film about sexual addiction that also shows the immense struggle spouses of sex addicts experience: http://www.sexaddiction.tv Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09995629035156731113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-87548853644097269622012-08-28T16:33:58.757-07:002012-08-28T16:33:58.757-07:00There’s noticeably a bundle to find out about this...There’s noticeably a bundle to find out about this. I assume you made sure nice points in optionsTreatment for Porn Addiction NYChttp://sextreatment.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-32636547094308950112011-09-08T11:12:37.529-07:002011-09-08T11:12:37.529-07:00Great post! I am a new to town and also trained i...Great post! I am a new to town and also trained in sex and relationship addiction. I am starting a group for those recovering from abusive relationships with a sex addict/ narcissist/psychopath. I agree that denying another's perception is the most painful part of the betrayal. <br />Thanks again!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-77999755788017747042011-04-29T08:32:27.665-07:002011-04-29T08:32:27.665-07:00An addiction takes over who a person really is sup...An addiction takes over who a person really is supposed to be. Morals and values become compromised and eventually only a shell of who once existed is left. Shame and embarrassment keep an individual with a sexual addiction from reaching out for help. When loved ones finally find out what is really going on, the betrayal has amounted to an almost unbearable amount. A close friend of my has experienced this exact ordeal with her husband of 17 years. I recently interviewed her about what it is like to be the unknowing wife of a man who is addicted to sex. Cindy thought she and Doug had an open loving marriage, and a wonderful sex life until one of Doug’s on-line lovers showed up at her home looking for Doug. Cindy states that “Doug has never really had an overactive sexual appetite, he is in a way almost prude.” Well that day she realized that she didn’t even know the man she had been living with for 17 years. Doug had 100’s of on-line mistress and had even physically cheated on his wife with people that she knew, and made no efforts to protect himself or Cindy from sexually transmitted dieses. He spent most of his work day surfing the internet and in sex chat rooms with these women and sexting certain female coworkers, planning the actual meeting of when they could have sex. His work very quickly began to suffer and his boss had quite a few talks with him about his performance as an employee. Doug hid money from his wife and family in order to pay for hotel rooms to meet his women. Three days before Doug was caught by his wife he was fired because his boss found out he was having sex with other married female employees. Doug’s employer suggested that he tell his wife what was going on before someone else informed her. Doug pushed it aside and his inappropriateness escalated. He didn’t tell his wife that he lost his job, instead he spent his work days in his garage engaged in phone sex and masturbation while his wife was at work and his children at school. The day Cindy found out about Doug’s sex addiction was the day Doug lost everything important to him. His wife, her trust, her respect, his home, his job and seeing his children every day. A very broken and sad man entered himself into a crisis rehab program that night.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-23913370701318691872011-04-03T19:16:13.433-07:002011-04-03T19:16:13.433-07:00I recently watched the movie Gaslight, after my wi...I recently watched the movie Gaslight, after my wife, a counselor specializing in treatment of wives of a sex addicts came home talking about it after a seminar she attended. As I watched I saw myself and all the horrible lies I had told in an effort to keep my addiction hidden. "How stupid do you think I am? I'd never get involved with anyone at work!" Turns out I was very stupid to believe I could keep up the charade and continue to make her think she was over reacting. My wife and I now work with couples and something I hear every time after a disclosure is "I knew I wasn't crazy!" For a recovery aspect this is probably one of the bigger hurdles for a spouse. A lot of resentment comes with it and with good reason.jeffhttp://www.caribouministries.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-55157575322539317142011-04-01T12:28:27.027-07:002011-04-01T12:28:27.027-07:00I think i feel the same as eeryone else, always th...I think i feel the same as eeryone else, always thinking something was wrong with me, why is he not happy with me, along it was his addiction. I think there is hope as long as he dont give up, i wont give up... thanksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-16345498021813613432010-04-26T16:50:39.913-07:002010-04-26T16:50:39.913-07:00I cry when I read this. Finally It makes sense an...I cry when I read this. Finally It makes sense and my spouse had the nerve to call me crazy. I now know he was the crazy one. It is good to know someone understands.<br />Thank You!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-28274095673791079182009-12-17T18:44:32.406-08:002009-12-17T18:44:32.406-08:00Wow! I just ended yesterday, what I believe was a ...Wow! I just ended yesterday, what I believe was a suicidal relationship! I understand the numbing feeling of my struggle. I see hope for recovery. Thank you so much.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-65861408131819288632009-07-13T05:33:24.829-07:002009-07-13T05:33:24.829-07:00I am the wife of someone like this. I actually tho...I am the wife of someone like this. I actually thought I had paranoid personalitydisorder. And of course he let me go on thinking that. I guess that was easier than giving up the porn.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-75370547303170419022009-04-04T21:04:00.000-07:002009-04-04T21:04:00.000-07:00Gas lighted is what I told my therapist and she di...Gas lighted is what I told my therapist and she did't understand what I was referring to - WOW! My recent realization of my spouse's problem makes everything make sense now - your metaphors are spot on. I had him read them, too, and he recogized his behavior. Thanks.<BR/><BR/>CKAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-69229722559627532662009-01-15T10:46:00.000-08:002009-01-15T10:46:00.000-08:00again, you nailed it. i have spent years being tol...again, you nailed it. i have spent years being told that i was imagining things, hyper-sensitive, insecure and crazy. i actually began to think i was! i was humiliated and embarrassed and my self-esteem plumeted. i completely lost myself, my friends, my interests and spent all my energy trying to figure out what was wrong with me that my partner couldn't be satisfied with me. somehow, then the truth is exposed and confronted there is a peace (along with a lot of problems) that i haven't experienced in years because i realize i'm ok. now it's a learning process to navigate between the lies and the truth. colorgirl828@yahoo.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-65395460459230072152008-03-12T14:21:00.000-07:002008-03-12T14:21:00.000-07:00I agree completely with your post and the comment....I agree completely with your post and the comment. Sometimes I feel despondent, sometimes I am manic; but almost always I feel unnerved the way you do when you feel something is stalking you and you can't get away from it. Nothing seems quite "real" or right to me most of the time since discovering my partner's betrayals.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313915058985270381.post-90779468213639374562008-01-25T03:50:00.000-08:002008-01-25T03:50:00.000-08:00You nailed it. The partner in this situation ques...You nailed it. The partner in this situation questions her sanity. She questions her intelligence. She questions her decision-making ability. It's insidious, but her self-esteem slowly gets whittled down to nothing. That is the biggest betrayal of all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com